From Mr. Daniel Lumis

[ms]

Why does reading this thread make me feel like I'm witnessing an argument with a ventriloquist's dummy?

Note:  Modified subject per ms's request.

[Ted]

1) Fox reports a rumor

2) Hundreds of comments follow, each of which exhibits one of the following:
A) Awesome grammar and spelling
B) Calls for uprising and revolution
C) Threats
D) A B and C.

3) Murdoch takes the profits back to Australia, laughing...

[Ted]

  Jake, ever see the movie "Office Space?"

Your thread is like listening to the guy in the basement talking to himself about how he's going to burn the place down if anyone takes his red stapler...

[Ted]

I for one cannot wait for the rapture, as it will be the only thing that will finally kill this thread...

[Ted]

Frequently seen BTF logic:

DO UNTIL X=1,000,000
BEGIN
If it rains and ruins your picnic: it's Obama's fault;
If it rains and ends a year of drought: it's Bush's visionary leadership;
X= X+1;
END

[Ted]

...  Keep drinking the hope & change Kool-aid.

  Kool-aid? Hah. Scotch.

[Ted]

Jake, the president isn't going to come out of the White House every time you put a burning bag of crap on his porch. "That darn Jake! And always during 'The Mentalist!'"

[Bonster]

"In the bright sunlight of freedom, Rick Perry stands tall. He will forever guard the entrance to the cave that protects his people.."

[Ted]

 
Mailman doesn't write the mail, he just delivers it. Unfortunately it often comes with a bulk rate stamp.

[Ted]

 Mr. Daniel Lumis' interpretation of a Republican primary presidential commerical by Texas governor Rick Perry:

"Are y'all tired of them fags and false gods like I am? Are y'all tired of havin' to share this planet with people who don't believe that the Sky Fairy helped us kick them redskins out so's we could hunt n fish, and kick some ass while drivin' aroun' with a big ole' iron dick in yer holster? Then vote fer me, cause I'll kick some librul ass so's yews don' have to. Plus, I'll be sure to send a little somethin' extra back here to Texass. You know, librul tax dollars so's you can hire you some more of them Mexicans to keep yer truck clean and yer house trailer all level. An' remember, next time sum librul tells you Jesus is just an invisible friend, yew tell 'em they wrong; cause he's real. I seen it in the bible. I got faith on that. I do. I approve this message."